It is no longer Christmas. It was a Christmas I really never embraced, and one I am now reluctant to let go of. When I tell the truth these days, my eyes fill with tears, and (wink) I never lie. I work in the kitchen, cleaning and then cooking, then cleaning from the cooking. It keeps me out of trouble. I go through my stack of music, throwing each on the player like frisbees. I light a candle, first because the wind is blowing, then because the snow is deep and eventually because the lights have flickered. I unearth the four for advent and tho' it is past, I light them late in the night when everyone is asleep. I gaze at them in the darkness, admiring the glow they cast and letting them chase away doubt and fear from the corners. I have whispered a prayer as I brought match to wick and now sit with the lotus-bearer for more than a while, considering the secrets the unfolding new year will reveal.

C.M.Carroll