May 3, 2010 at 9:43pm

Chris

I lost my dearest and most constant friend of nearly thirty years on Saturday. In the late eighties, I recall he had a health scare that was more like a death sentence. I was stepping out of my apartment into the way the sun burns your retinas after hours of weeping (I was on my way to go see him) and I thought as I stepped that if this world was not going to include him, I was really no longer interested in it for myself. I was very young. Today he is gone and I realize that sometimes I still love the world so much that I never wish to leave it. I also imagine that he can see me in it and seeing me thrive, because of his love for me, would make him happy. So that's what I mean to do on this rainy morning. However, there is also this poem in my thoughts. A poem we shared a love for:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden


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Eternal Rest, Grant Unto Him, O Lord,

And Let Perpetual Light Shine Upon Him.

May His Soul and the Souls of All the Faithful Departed

Through the Mercy of God, Rest in Peace.

Amen.